Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
