But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
