First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize