There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
