I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize