that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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