the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
kristin has been a bad kristin
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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