The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
