After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize