I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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