do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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