You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
