just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
