that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize