You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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