found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How does it feel to date your dad?