I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you