sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.