yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.