i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.