Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.