You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
