Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
