i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
