I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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