I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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