At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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