STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize