Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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