He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
