Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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