Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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