i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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