Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I will be naked everywhere
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
