i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
