i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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