We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
