I wanna bring you to show and tell
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
