Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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