All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize