I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
