Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize