very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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