Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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