girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm bleeding and have questions
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