Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
