wrigley field is MILF paradise
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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