Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
