Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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