this beer tastes like vomit already
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Mom said you looked used
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
