remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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