What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
