so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
