He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
