Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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