Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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