ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
