I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize