he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize