I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
