it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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