I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
