Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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