can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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