i don't like sucking hair
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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