and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
