so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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